Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
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