I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
