Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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