So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
