Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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