When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
They took my balls.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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