Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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