You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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