too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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