I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
