I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
