grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
it glows. i had to have it.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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