Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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