I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
