I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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