Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i was born a porn star she said
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
