Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
