New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs speak an international language.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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