Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
