That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize
