oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
