I puked a lego.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
