I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
