Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize