i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
