I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
