Nicole vs. Life
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize