Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
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He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
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he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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