He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
