Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
