I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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