i jhust puked up my retainher.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
True strength comes from lack of pants
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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