I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
