Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
