We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
