she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
