if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
