my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
