How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
