i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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