This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
