you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
