So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize