You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
