Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
