Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
