Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
