Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
That's when you crack a 10am beer
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
my shit smells like andre
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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