If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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