Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
