Don't you send me to vm
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?