my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.