i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.