Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
