Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
