dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
She bit a glass in half.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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