Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
