But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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