This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
