i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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