But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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