# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
