I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
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all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
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You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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