It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
