So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Who died my cat blue again?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
