How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Never joke about your clitoris.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
