no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just pynch a tree in the face
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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